If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I am available for nakedness
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
