when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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