Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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