Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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