My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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