I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
