I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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