I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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