She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
