In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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