Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's shark week go big or go home
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
