God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
even my farts smell like vagina
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Congratulations! We have a period
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