Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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