And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
