Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
