Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
