My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
