Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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