ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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