I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
