I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
