Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
