So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize