i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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