I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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