She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
