I love black thongs
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
