how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
