wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
