Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
