Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Green mimosas i think yes
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
