pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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