Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
