the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
