Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
