You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize