doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
