so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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