New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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