I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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