it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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