Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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