I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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