I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
