My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
