Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Found your dick twin last night
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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