oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
