I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
