She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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