she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
