i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
