I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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