Yo dont text me then not text me
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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