So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
