YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
