I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
