i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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