Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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