just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
